My Heart Lately
I sit here staring at a blinking cursor wondering where to start. The words feel jumbled because there is so much coming from every direction, picking where to begin feels impossible to get right. The news, Facebook, Instagram, phone alerts, no matter where you turn there seems to be constant terrible and overwhelming news being thrown at you these days. As a nation and a people we seem to be divided on whatever hot topic gets presented to us that day. There seems to be this negative momentum that keeps snowballing downhill. It feels impossible to outrun.
Insert broken hearted, overwhelmed, and downright defeated me. It can all feel so very heavy. Worrying about our country, our freedoms, the America my children will be growing up in. Worrying about what to say or what not to say because it feels wrong to stay silent in the midst of it all but speaking up offends and stirs the pot. So I hit my knees. I extended my hands. I poured out my heart to the God of the universe. And as he has time and time again, he met me where I am. He tells us that, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” - Jeremiah 29:13
In Proverbs he tells us that again. “I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” - Proverbs 8:17. Scripture tells us of his love for us over and over again. Yet, I find myself being blown away each new time he meets me where I am. Each time that he shows up and demonstrates the insane love he has for me.
I was reading through the end of the New Testament. But I was seeking him. I was seeking him with full desperation and clinging to him like the lifeline that he is. Trying to find light and hope in these discouraging days. He sent me to Psalm 46. He knew the exact encouragement that I needed. The encouragement that would lift me up and fill me with hope. He knew exactly what I needed. Maybe its what you need to.
Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Come and see what the Lord has done, the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth. He breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns the shields with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Chills. Every time I read through this Psalm I get chills. I am reminded that there is nothing here that I need to fear because I serve the one true God. My God is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. If he is for me than who or what can stand against me? It gives me comfort knowing that no matter what may come here on earth, in the end our God is victorious. I find strength in knowing that his promises are true. That when this is all said and done he will still sit on his thrown.
I also find myself smiling because he tells us that when we seek him we will find him. It is so much bigger than finding a verse or chapter that speaks to you. When you seek him, you find his heart. You find his great love for us and you find comfort in not only his word but in who he is. It softens the anger and frustrations you feel toward others who you don’t understand or agree with. It helps you to love others how he loves us. It gives you a gentler outlook and perspective on the things that weigh you down. Because when we seek him, we find him. When we find him, we find who he is at his core. We find the root of his love and mercy and intense longing for us.
Several years ago when I was at a bible study before we had our own children, someone from the group said something that has stuck with me through the years. He and his wife had just had their first child and he was reflecting on how that had given him a greater understanding of the love of God. He explained that he understood this love so much more as a father because of the crazy intense love he had for his new daughter. The lengths he would be willing to go through for her. How nothing she could do would ever make him turn away from her.
When I became a mother I remembered his words and found how true they rang. Motherhood allowed me to reflect on my friend’s insight and grow a greater appreciation for the way our God loves us. Because it is so true. I fiercely and ferociously love my boys. I would move mountains for them. There is nothing that they could do that could take my love away from them.
So how much more does our Heavenly father love us? How many mountains would he move to get to us or to heal us from our pain? Or meet us right where we are in the midst of our struggles? I can only reflect on the love I have for my own children and imagine that God’s love is so much greater than that. That even with that example, I cannot fully fathom the depths of his love. His overwhelming, never ending love.
Friends, I don’t know where you are today. No matter where you may find yourself, I encourage you to hit your knees, stretch out your hands, and pour out your heart to the God who loves you more than we could ever imagine. To the God who promises that he will meet us right where we are if we only seek him first.
I would love the chance to pray for you. If you need prayer, drop a comment here or DM me on instagram. I hope you find encouragement here today and walk away knowing that there is a God who loves you.
xoxo
Brittany