Afternoon Cup: FEAR

Okay, let’s just jump right in and address the elephant in the room. FEAR. There, I said it. This word, fear, is affecting Every. Single. One of us right now. Whether you are experiencing fear yourself or dealing with pretty much everyone around you who is experiencing this emotion thanks to the current global crisis.

Keeping on trend of this article, I’m just going to throw its ugly name right out there…the coronavirus. The name itself sounds icky. Then there is the power that is attached to it. The power to create a global panic that, at least the millennial generation, has never seen before. This virus has caused a complete disruption to society thanks to fear. Fear of this illness and the unknown took over the media and then spread like the greatest contagion we have ever seen. Grocery stories cannot keep toilet paper, baby wipes, (much to my surprise) acetone, and various other products in stock. Limits have been placed on the amount of dairy, meat, and produce that can be purchased at one time. I will admit, not knowing if I will be able to get some essential items at our local HEB (our grocery store of choice) is rather unsettling when I have my mom cap on.

I specify “mom cap” because perspective is also a powerful thing. When I view this current global situation while wearing my mom cap, I think about it differently. (Because let’s be real, if you read my last piece, the thing that really gets to me is when my kids are affected negatively.) I don’t like having to tell my son about the uglies of this world at such a tender age. I don’t like having to share that the reason there is no school, that he can’t have playdates with his friends, that we can’t go out to eat, etc. is because of a virus. I don’t want to instill a fear in him and jade his amazing little mind. But he is an extremely smart and perceptive little boy, so I don’t lie to him. I told him about the virus, its name, that it is (and I wanted to keep it as light and on his understanding level the best that I could) a mean virus that we are trying to prevent from spreading. I told him that as a nation, and a planet, that we are working together to do what we need to do.

Instead of elaborating even more on that, I will cut to the chase. As I explained things to my son my perspective changed. As I carefully chose the words I used (because I didn’t want to spiral in a cycle of fear and then make him become afraid. Our kids will react to this how we do.) I clung to hope and the best of human nature. I spoke about people working together, people helping others (i.e. young people shopping for their elderly neighbors), and doctors and scientist caring for others and working to solve this problem. When I started focusing on the positive (including cutting out watching/reading the news obsessively) any fear that I had, faded away.

Interestingly enough, it was also during this time that I began to pray about the situation. I don’t know why it took me a couple weeks to add this to my prayer list. I guess my inner control freak was having too much fun worrying about what “could happen” all on my own. Let me just say that bringing a Big God into any problem, makes a Big difference.

Now, that’s not to say that I am hiding my head in the sand like an ostrich. Hiding from a problem to avoid fear is never the answer. I am aware of the current situation. I am keeping myself up-to-date on current affairs. My family is making the best choices that we can given the circumstances. I just quit obsessing over it all. And I gave the control I thought I had over to God (Yes, I realize that I should have learned this lesson by now.). Fear feeds fear and it is an ugly cycle. Fear and worry also don’t change anything, but they keep you beaten down.

I know it can seem crazy to let go of the only control you feel like you have over a situation. When in reality, it is when you hand it all over that you are more at ease. The tighter you hold onto what you think you can control, the more out of control you actually become. The more you watch the news and flood your mind with all the negative going on, the more the fear will take over. Hand over your concerns and worries to God and let his peace fall over you.

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” -Psalm 34:4

In our house, we have a phrase, “Every problem has a solution.” This is something I told my oldest son when he was old enough to start to have panic and anxious feelings. It helps him to take a deep breath and think through a different lens. It is not to say that we then immediately discover the solution. Nope, it’s 50/50 on whether a problem can be immediately solved. It does, however, change the panic to a calm that allows a solution to be sought out.

So I will tell you, “Every problem has a solution.” I’m not saying that things are going to get better (or simply go back to how it was before the coronavirus) over night. We really do not know what is going to happen. But we can hold onto the hope of knowing that we will get through this. That life will eventually return to normal (Yes, even if it gets a whole lot worse first.) We human beings are resilient, we are fighters, we have done miraculous things, and we will find a solution to this crisis.

My hope is that this time period in our history books tells about how the whole globe came together and found a solution. That through doing so, we shifted our priorities and focus from the fast paced, over stimulated way of life that we were used to, to a life that allows us to slow down and enjoy the little things. I have already seen more people in my community out on walks and bike rides (no electronics in sight). Just people connecting (Don’t freak out. People are only with their immediate families. Social distancing is still going strong.) with people and nature.

I want to end by sharing the words a friend of mine just wrote. She is a gem of a human being with a heart for the Lord. She said,

It’s easy to think of this time as wasted. Wasted land, wasted time with nothing to show for it but lots of hours chasing around kids or conference calls or worrying about our jobs. But the truth of it is is that God is always doing new things in the wastelands. Life against all odds. (April Payne)

Friends, this time is not wasted. This time is not when we give into our fear. This time is when we lift up our head and look to our heavenly father. This time is when we lift up our prayer to find the strength to be strong and courageous.

“Be strong and courageous.Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” -Deuteronomy 31:6

Heavenly father, we give you our fears and our worries about life currently. God, rain down your peace over us as we walk through these uncertain times. Help us to trust in you and to hold on to the belief that you are bigger than this. Help us to be strong and courageous. Amen.